Keep Laughing with the 7 Dwarfs of Menopause
This blog is for my co-menopausal madams. Just in case you haven’t been following me over at Hot Flash Daily, I thought I’d share some posts you might want to check out. I just completed a series of articles on the evil Menopausal Dwarfs: itchy, bitchy, sweaty, bloaty, sleepy, forgetful, and psycho.
As I wrote in my first article for Hot Flash Daily, I’m no Snow White, but they came anyway. Those malicious creatures – who by the way bore no resemblance whatsoever to the seven cute and endearing pint-sized guys that rescued Snow White – packed up their little bags, put me under their spell, and decided to stay for a good long while. Hi ho, hi ho, off to work they go.
So here’s a few details about my experiences with these guys with links if you want to read more:
- Itchy: Everyone warns you about hot flashes. Why did no one tell me about the possibility of becoming allergic to your own sweat? After I go to all the trouble of exercising, my skin itches so bad it feels like maggots are having a field day climbing in and out of my pores. Mind you, I live in the desert where temperatures sometimes soar to 120 degrees in the summer. This is an issue, folks. For all the gory details, check out My Constant Companion: Itchy with Bitchy and Sweaty Not Far Behind.
- Bitchy: Really, I don’t think this one applies to me. You have the nerve to disagree? Just shut up and leave me alone! Where’s my wine and chocolate? Read more if you dare: The B*tch is Back.
- Sweaty: I never used to sweat that much. Now I’m sweating like a pig in a bacon factory. Like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. One more? Okay, you asked for it. I’m sweating like a pregnant nun at confession. If you want the whole sweaty story, click on Simply Sweaty.
There’s nothing like bloating up like a puffer fish caused by fluctuating hormones. It’s bad enough that my middle is thickening and indigestion is my middle name, now I have a third trimester belly bloat to go with it. Sound familiar? Read Blast That Bloatiness!
- Sleepy: I wake up tired and go to bed ready to run a marathon. The glowing, digital clock on my nightstand entrances me at 3:00 a.m. It’s no coincidence that I’m on Level 303 on Candy Crush and a pinaholic on Pinterest. But what the hey, sleep is overrated anyway. Learn why hubby needs a suit of armor so I don’t smack him silly for blissfully sleeping while I’m subtracting how many hours of sleep I can get if I can just fall asleep NOW at Insane Insomnia.
- Forgetful: What was I writing? Just one of many questions I ask myself throughout the day. You can also add to the list: What was I doing? What am I looking for? Why did I come into this room? What was I saying? What was I going to get out of the refrigerator? What’s my name? I can’t remember what I wrote in this article, but you can read it at My Friend, Fuzzy Brained Forgetfulness.
- Psycho: Is it our fault that one minute we’re feeling all sentimental, weepy, and loving and the very next moment we want to stab someone blind and stomp on their eyeballs? My Menopausal Pal, Psycho explains the whole sordid story.
So there you have it, the seven dwarfs of menopause. Keep your sense of humor, ladies, since laughter is one of the keys to happiness. And stay tuned for future articles that will include Gotta Pee, What’s That Hair on My Chinny-Chin-Chin, and Confessions of a Menopausal Chocolate Crackhead.